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K

K21701

Guest
CALORIES BURNED DURING SEX!​


REMOVING HER CLOTHES:


With her consent 12 Calories

Without her consent 2,187 Calories


OPENING HER BRA:


With both hands 8 Calories
With one hand 12 Calories

With your teeth 485 Calories


PUTTING ON A CONDOM:

With an erection 6 Calories
Without an erection 3,315 Calories


POSITIONS:

Missionary 12 Calories

69 lying down 78 Calories

69 standing up 812 Calories

Wheelbarrow 216 Calories

Doggy Style 326 Calories

Italian chandelier 2,912 Calories


ORGASMS:


Real 112 Calories

Fake 1,315 Calories



POST ORGASM:

Lying in bed hugging 18 Calories

Getting up immediately 36 Calories

Explaining why you got out of bed immediately 816 Calories


GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:

If you are:

20-29 years 36 Calories

30-39 years 80 Calories

40-49 years 124 Calories

50-59 years 1,972 Calories

60-69 years 7,916 Calories

70 and over Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:

Calmly 32 Calories

In a hurry 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door 5,218 Calories

With your wife knocking at the door 13,521 Calories
 

Mossy

Daenerys Targaryen
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Jan 2, 2011
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:clap: :clap: :clap:
 
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E

ENCOUNTERZERO

Guest
[video=youtube;if27InJBtEI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=if27InJBtEI[/video] try and not laugh
 
K

K21701

Guest
**Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,**​
Phone Ringing

**'Hello?'**

**'Hi honey.**
**This is Daddy.**
**Is Mommy near the phone?'**

**'No, Daddy.**
**She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Gabe.'**

**After a brief pause,**

**Daddy says,**
**'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Gabe.'**


**'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy,**
**Right now..'**

Brief Pause.

**'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.**
**Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs**
**And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy**
**That Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'**

**'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'**


**A few minutes later**
**The little girl comes back to the phone.**

**'I did it, Daddy.'**

**'And what happened, honey?' **

'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.**
**Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser**
**And now she isn't moving at all!'**


**'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Gabe?'**


**'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.**
**He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window**
**And into the swimming pool.**
**But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water**
**Last week to clean it.**


**He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'**



*****Long Pause*****




*****Longer Pause*****



*****Even Longer Pause*****



**Then Daddy says,**


**'Swimming pool? ............**






**Is this 486-5731?'*​
 
E

ENCOUNTERZERO

Guest
hello 911 i think a child just killed her mother and another man. damn evil kid
 
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